Two years ago the city of Tampa launched "Unlock Tampa," a project designed as an' economic development mission' by the tourism bureau here (Visit Tampa Bay )to attract visitors to this city who were interested in a vacation, a getaway, preferably with the family in order to enjoy the best that Tampa has to offer to the stressed out, the snow-bound, the harsh weather fed-up who are looking for a little time to un-stress, hang out in flip-flops and t-shirts, have some fun in the sun and surf and probably a few margaritas after the kids are down for the night.
Now comes St. Pete, whose wise leaders have launched their own' economic development mission' to attract jobs and businesses to their city. A mission which in essence is attempting to sell St. Pete as the place in this part of Florida to start up your new business, or move your corporate offices, or open branch offices which would employ many people in jobs other than hospitality gigs.
And the St. Pete tourism mavens , or rather their adversising agency, Clear Labs, has given this mission a name: 'You Are My Sunshine'- You meaning St. Pete - and the hashtag #SunshineStPete, plus a contest to write the lyrics to a song about your city.
Oh, For Pete's sake.
Clearly, there is an identity crisis in the understanding of these two cities of their real missions, and we need to clarify those respective missions for the sister cities perched on either side of Tampa Bay.
We're not going to include the city of Clearwater in this scolding, because they have their hands full with the Scientology crowd.
St. Pete, you over there, you have Beaches. That's right, beaches. Beautiful beaches, you have the Grand Prix, a really hot music scene, beach drive with all the fancy schmancy cafes, a rockin' downtown area with great bars and art galleries and the new six million dollar Hofbrauhaus, which is all the things that people who are snowbound, stressed out and fed up with harsh weather are looking for when they are in vacation or honeymoon mode.
In a clam shell...you have margaritaville.
And attempting to bring business men and women here for a look-see at the possibilities of relocating here and doing serious business in paradise...well, just imagine a northern, stressed out, snowbound, fed up with harsh weather business man in your office, listening to you yap away about bushiness incentives, ratios, tax breaks, yadda yadda yadda, and all he can think about is the beaches laid out in the picture window that his gaze is fixated on right behind your head.
Tampa, you have no beaches. You have rocks -hence Rocky Point - and rush hours, and downtown during the week, masses of stressed out business men and women running around in business suits and shoes and women in fancy dresses, suits and five-inch high heels in a downtown clearly made for business people to go about doing corporate business and which shuts down after six p.m. when the last commuter escapes to the outlands for a little rest and maybe a little fun at the local sports or Irish bar.
Tampa is a growing and spirited center of commerce, a real comer in the hot Southeast Corridor Business Sector and the mavens here are doing everything they can to attract people who have advanced degrees in business and technology and know how to use them, and is not equipped to entertain whole families - or newly wed -stressed out, snowed in Northerners looking to unwind and run around in flip-flops and t-shirts and have a few margaritas after the kids are down for the night having enjoyed a perfect day at the beach.
A beach with sand, not rocks.
And Tampa has three professional sports teams - yeah, that's right, it's the Tampa Bay Rays. And, well, depending upon if you like about 150,000 drunks scantily clad in pirate gear once a year during the Gasparilla festival running around the downtown area - Just the kind of thing to attract the corporate set, not a family who could care less about sports or drunken pirates scaring the children during what is supposed to be a honeymoon or a laid back vacation.
And we have not seen too many tourist people clamoring to get into the Tampa Museum of Art, or begging a tour guide for please just one more look at the fabulous Plant Museum, or seeking some of those yum gourmet breakfasts and mingle with the city leaders and politicians and poo bahs over at the Oxford Exchange.
We hope these two cities have not so far spent a lot of money on the two ad agencies ((Clear Labs in St. Pete and Sharp in Tampa) who are engineering these economic development missions, because , for instance, we really have not noticed a whole lot of people kayaking on the Hillsborough River -something the Tampa mission brochure offers up to vacationers as 'water sports'-
Best thing for these two identity challenged cities to do really, is to assume/resume the role they have so artfully and successfully carved out for themselves.
St. Pete gets to be Margaritaville. Tampa gets to be Washington D.C with palm trees.
Can the economic development mission stuff and trying to be who you are not, and embrace who you are. It's a zen thing.
There, that's settled.
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